Saturday, September 25, 2010

We've all heard the stories, they all start the same: a woman showers before going to sleep at night and wakes up the next morning.  Perhaps a few days go by until she begins to notice an irritation of the scalp; she thinks nothing of it and goes through the same routine.  A week, maybe two goes by and one morning while preening herself in the mirror she notices something.  To her horror, she discovers an entire nest of Blueberries hidden amongst her hair and moustache.  She immediately goes to the doctor, but by then, of course, it is too late.  The Berrybush was rooted itself into her very skull, and no amount of surgery will be able to remove it.  From this point on, she will be a freak and an outcast:
It's no myth.  There are thousands of such victims in the United States, suffering in silence.  Because of the social stigma this affliction carries with it, few of these Fruit-heads interact with society, preferring a life of seclusion surrounded only by others of their leprous kind.  For this reason, word of mouth of this disease has been effectively stifled and with the news-media being in the pocket of Big Fruit very little information has gotten to the  public at large.
The danger, of course, came from the Fruit-scented shampoo our hapless matron used to clean her hair.  Do yourself a favor and make sure to check all products for Fruit extracts and seeds, or you may find yourself among the afflicted.

32 comments:

  1. Showin support for an awesome post :D

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  2. uhh salsa party with the oldies.

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  3. ahh very logical point. Now following.

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  4. Lol same thing goes with an apple tree growing in your stomach from swallowing the seeds:D

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  5. Is it inspired from Borris Vian? =P

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  6. yes when im at the store i well , check theres prolly a bunch of Fruit-heads try to turn us, forget about zombies...

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  7. Nice blog bro!
    Followin n supportin :)
    Check my blog!

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  8. something about women with bananas on their head is hot

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  9. Great post, showing some love, keep it up =)

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  10. Thanks for the comments on my last GTL blog post.

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  11. looks awesome!
    supportin & follow you;)

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  12. this might be my favorite blog ever

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  13. hah why is that woman wearing fruit on her head haha fruit goes in your mouth not on your head

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  14. this is a good post that makes me want to come back for more

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  15. But I love fruit flavored foods. Afflicted and proud.

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