Friday, September 3, 2010

Fruit Bat

One of the true marvels of animal kingdom is the mighty Fruit Bat. Long ago, scientists surmise, the ancestor to the Fruit Bat was bitten by a radioactive Pineapple. This would normally mean instant death for most, but by a fluke of mother nature this Bat was given extraordinary powers - the porportionate strength, speed and agility of a Watermelon, flight, and a precognative Fruit-sense. Most important of all, however, from that day on, that bat and all it's descendants were immune to the native toxins of all Fruit. It remains the only known predator to all species of Fruit.

Today these Bats are used as household pets, as a natural deterrant to any Fruit that might wander in to your home. Although they can be dangerous, they only eat Fruit, are are therfore harmless to humans.  Just be sure to avoid Fruit scented perfume and shampoos.

Obtaining a Fruit bat of your own is no easy task however, they go for thousands of dollars on the black market and the U.S. has a strong policy with heavy repercussions for anybody caught smuggling their eggs past the border. If you are willing to pay the price or take the risk yourself however, it is well worth it.

The majestic Fruit Bat swoops down to catch his prey.


  1. hahhaa okay i don't really want a fruit bat, but i do kind of want a bear. >.<

  2. What I don't get is where you come up with these articles?!

  3. I have some fruit bat eggs if you need a hook up man.