New poll!!!!

It's a sad fact of life: everybody needs to get out once in a while.  Even if you're like me and don't have a job or friends, occasionally we must talc up, put on our underpants(optional) and venture out into Society at large - if only to pick up essential supplies such as kleenex and Catfood(even more so if you have a Cat).  So I have to ask; what is your favorite mode of transportation?

Everyone likes to travel in style, and it doesn't get much more stylish than on a Bus - like a limousine, but even more spacious.  Be wary though, as using this mode of transportation will rapidly deplete your bank account.  Which leads to the next option:
In these tough economic times, many of us have chosen to hire out the homeless to ferry us around the town by Piggyback.  You may be late for your meeting, but at least you won't have to pay outrageous gas prices.  Just make sure to tether it to a lamppost if you're going to be gone for more than 5 minutes as they like to wander, especially if low on hooch.
Swimming is always an option, and good exercise.
Or do you refuse to bow down to social pressure and simply Freestyle it like the refined gentleman pictured below?

Now vote!!

What's your excuse? Poll results

So once again the polls are in and the results are divided up as follows:

Unsurprisingly Otter was the go to excuse, I don't know how many times I've called in late for work with that very response - and really, who is going to question it?  I'm sure most people can relate.  21% of you responded with the old 'no limbs' excuse which leads to the question of how you managed to vote in the first place.  Some kind of Stephen Hawking computer I would guess.  Stunningly, in second place is 'Dog on fire'.  You people really need to take better care of your pets, or at least keep them away from open flame.  Those things light up like gasoline.

I'll be back again tomorrow with a brand new poll.  Don't act like you aren't excited.

We've all heard the stories, they all start the same: a woman showers before going to sleep at night and wakes up the next morning.  Perhaps a few days go by until she begins to notice an irritation of the scalp; she thinks nothing of it and goes through the same routine.  A week, maybe two goes by and one morning while preening herself in the mirror she notices something.  To her horror, she discovers an entire nest of Blueberries hidden amongst her hair and moustache.  She immediately goes to the doctor, but by then, of course, it is too late.  The Berrybush was rooted itself into her very skull, and no amount of surgery will be able to remove it.  From this point on, she will be a freak and an outcast:

It's no myth.  There are thousands of such victims in the United States, suffering in silence.  Because of the social stigma this affliction carries with it, few of these Fruit-heads interact with society, preferring a life of seclusion surrounded only by others of their leprous kind.  For this reason, word of mouth of this disease has been effectively stifled and with the news-media being in the pocket of Big Fruit very little information has gotten to the  public at large.
The danger, of course, came from the Fruit-scented shampoo our hapless matron used to clean her hair.  Do yourself a favor and make sure to check all products for Fruit extracts and seeds, or you may find yourself among the afflicted.

I was doing some research for another blog post, when I stumbled across these photos of what appears to be sentient Fruit.  These dopplegangers have taken on humanoid form, and as they continue to evolve they will no doubt be completely indistinguishable from people.  There is no telling what their end game may be, but I can speculate that it will be no less than total world domination.  Who knows how far they have already infiltrated our communities, families or governments?  Trust no one and spread the word.

Photos from tableheads.com

Sky-Buffalo ambush an Otter dwelling aboard their massive airships

New poll!

This one is pretty self-explanatory so gogogo!

Poll results are in!!

As you can see on the right, the polls are closed and the winner again by a large margin is Otter!  If I had known this frisky Feline was so popular I would have started a blog about Otters instead of Fruit.  There is some contention as to what animal family the Otter falls in to.  Is it a Fish or a Rodent?  Some kind of miniature aquatic Bear perhaps?  The truth is nobody knows for sure, but scientists all agree on a few keys facts:
Otters lay eggs - Otter nests, or 'damns', are constructed by the mighty redwood trees which they fell themselves by gnawing all the way through the trunk with their super-hardened teeth.  They build these nests high in the clouds in the form of massive wooden castles.  The trees also consist of the Otters main source of nutrition, via their sap which they sop up with their long-prehensile tongues.
Otters can swim, and rarely, fly.  They do this only during mating season in order to construct their wooden fortresses as I stated earlier.
Otters have no natural predators other than the sky-Buffalo.  Sometimes these two species wage war in the skies, this is where thunder comes from.
Otters make good pets.  They are clean, and need little exercise.  They make terrific guard animals as they emit a ferocious growl akin to a Lion when they sense strangers.  Just make sure to have it spayed, or it may fly away during mating season.  And keep it entertained.  It doesn't take much, usually a few squeaky toys and a PSP or other portable gaming device will suffice.
I hope you enjoyed this informative article and maybe even learned a few things about Otters.